The other day as our family settled into a booth for lunch, there was an older woman a few tables over eating ice cream and drinking pop by herself. As I glanced her way, I noticed that she had spilled her food, soiling her t-shirt and tray. After wiping up a bit, she went to the cashier for more napkins and returned to her seat, emptyhanded.
Before I could unzip our diaper bag for some wipes, the worker came over with a wet cloth, mop and bucket. She carefully cleaned the area, quietly chatting with the customer. A few moments later, another crew member approached the table and asked if there was anything else she needed. The woman reassured the young man that she was okay.
Rest assured, I changed some facts in the story to respect the customer’s privacy.
Throughout the encounter, the two employees treated the senior with tenderness, discreetness and dignity. There was no hint of ageism, a term coined in 1969 by American physician Robert Butler. Today, the World Health Organization defines ageism as the stereotyping (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) towards people based on age.
It is often said that ageism is the most tolerated form of social prejudice in Canada. In a frequently cited survey from 2012, about 60 percent of respondents aged 66 and older reported that they have been treated unfairly or differently because of their age, and 71 percent agreed that older people are less valued in our society than younger generations.
Ageism has a host of negative effects, such as low self-esteem, social exclusion and a loss of autonomy, and it can take many forms. Receiving a lower of quality of service in a restaurant because of a waiter’s attitudes about older people is one example.
Age-based mistreatment can be even worse for seniors with dementia, who face double stigma due to negative attitudes about the illness and old age. Prejudice can be further compounded for those who belong to other marginalized populations, such as older adults in poverty.
It is no wonder that nearly half of Canadians are anxious about ageing, according to a survey conducted by Ipsos in September 2024 for the Canadian Coalition Against Ageism.
In the restaurant that day, I saw humanity at its best. There were no social media “likes” or other accolades being chased. There were just two fast food workers doing the right thing.
Among all the bad news, we should take comfort in knowing that the moment was just one among countless other acts of kindness toward seniors that are quietly taking place everyday—on buses, at grocery stores, in banks.
There is goodness in society, and people can and often do act with integrity.
Indeed, as social and compassionate beings, humans are capable of fostering supportive communities that can help older adults live a safe and dignified life. We can do this not only for our own relatives and friends, but also for strangers, as the two crew members showed.
This should give us hope for a brighter future, where everyone can age with dignity.
Heather Campbell Pope is founder of Dementia Justice Canada, a small nonprofit dedicated to safeguarding the rights and dignity of people with dementia.
