Hey folks! It’s that month that everybody has been waiting for – September! Unless you’re living under a rock, you will know it’s the month with moose season in it. Productivity in Charlotte County grinds to almost a complete halt during this time and you better not have any emergency jobs you want done, because you know it ain’t nuthin’ happening. If you don’t think this is a big deal, then explain why Hallmark now carries moose season sympathy cards. I know a guy who got one in the mail just the other day. “Hey, we’re all really sorry that you and yours did not get your moose license this time around. It is our hope that next year will work out better for you. Keeping you in our thoughts.
I have a story that goes way back when people used to use Yellow Pages to find businesses. I was outside one day and I noticed that I had a bear on my roof, so what did I do? Looked in the Yellow Pages under “Bear Removal,” of course. A guy landed at my house in about an hour, in a truck with a cage, a Pitbull, ladder, baseball bat and a shotgun. I just had to ask what all the rigging was for, and the guy explained, “I’m gonna climb up the ladder, whack the bear with the baseball bat, and when he falls to the ground, the dog will latch onto the bear’s lower region and hold it there until I get back down and put him in the cage.” This seemed like a well thought out plan, but I did have a burning question – “Why do you have a shotgun?” He answered quickly; “That’s for you to have in case the bear knocks ME off the roof!”
I have yet another story that goes way back to times when people paid for things with cheques. For those who may not be familiar with this, it’s a piece of paper that you hand to somebody for goods and services that were provided to you. It’s like saying, “I don’t have any money with me, but if you go to the bank people on the cheque, they’ll give you your money.” A weird thing would happen if you didn’t happen to have the money, and the bank won’t help you out, the cheque would bounce all over the place. Believe it or not, that bank would then charge you more money because you didn’t have any money in the first place. Through the years, businesses decided that they weren’t going to put up with these additional charges, and they added their fees on as well. The amounts varied, but I remember one time I was buying $50 worth of gas and was going to pay by cheque. I asked the guy at the gas station what they charged for returned cheques and he said it was $25.00, so I just made the cheque out for $75.00 to cover everything. After all, I’m not a complete idiot.
Mark Taylor was a Saint Croix Courier columnist since the early 90’s, up to when the paper ceased publication in 2024. Mark also was the host of the aptly named Mark Taylor Show on CHCO-TV a few years back. Even if you didn’t leave a good job in the city, workin’ for the man every night and day, you may still enjoy Rollin’ on the River with Mark.
