As summer temperatures rise and wallets become lighter due to economic hardship, tempers often flare on the road. However, going back to the basic rules of driving—those we learned early on—can significantly help keep our communities safe and respectful.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “One good turn deserves another.” It also applies to driving. A small act of courtesy—like letting someone merge—can create a ripple effect. Most drivers will return the favor, especially if they receive a simple thank-you wave. Sadly, in the busy rush of daily life, such gestures are often forgotten, and their absence can lead to resentment.
One of the easiest ways to avoid frustration is to leave more time for your trip. Running late is not an excuse for weaving through traffic, tailgating, or ignoring signals—behaviors that increase tension and danger for everyone. Reckless actions, such as cutting too close in front of someone without signaling, are more than rude—they’re dangerous. Wait until you can see both headlights of the car you’ve passed in your rearview mirror before moving back over. Always use your turn signal, even when the road is empty. Habits form quietly—and good habits can save lives.
Speeding has become the new normal, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. I’ve seen this especially among teenage drivers in my community. One heartbreaking incident involved a young girl who hit a cat while speeding. The cat died, and the girl was devastated. It was a painful, unforgettable lesson in why speed limits are enforced.
We all understand the dangers of driving under the influence. Alcohol and drugs impair judgment and reduce our perception of speed. The consequences can be tragic, especially for young drivers who are still learning their limits of responsibility. A recent local prom party took a proactive approach: parents collected all car keys at the entrance, supervised the event, and made sure no one drove impaired. Even those few who tried to break this plan ended up with flat tires and a valuable lesson. It was a night of celebration—and a quiet victory for civility and common sense.
Driving demands full attention. I learned this the hard way on a ski trip years ago. While fumbling for a CD, I hit black ice and flipped my Land Cruiser into a rock formation. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but the outcome could have been much worse. Distractions like phones, music, or even conversation can be deadly.
Driving is a privilege, not a right. It also comes with responsibility. Being civil behind the wheel can be the difference between life and death.
A Reader’s Letter
I recently received a thoughtful letter from a reader, S.R.W., who took issue with an earlier column for omitting a crucial topic: the relationships among all road users—drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists. With permission, I’m sharing excerpts here, along with a few thoughts in response.
“Your ‘right’ to turn right on red doesn’t override a pedestrian’s right to cross in front of you. Red lights triggered by pedestrians aren’t optional—they’re legally binding, even if they seem ‘out of cycle.’”
Correct. Failing to yield because you’re distracted or driving too fast unfairly shifts the safety responsibility onto the pedestrian. The driver must slow down and stay alert—it is not the pedestrian’s duty to avoid danger.
“Pedestrians have the right of way on sidewalks crossing driveways and parking lot entrances. Cyclists do, too. Wait until the way is clear. Patience is a virtue—possess it if you can.”
It bears repeating: sidewalks are not optional zones. They are protected pathways, and everyone using them deserves to feel safe.
Cyclists ride on the right side of the road, not the gravel shoulder. If there isn’t enough space to pass safely, wait—don’t try to force your way through. And for young male drivers: shouting at pedestrians or cyclists to ‘spook’ them isn’t funny. It’s dangerous. Grow up—or surrender your license until you’re ready for the responsibility.
S.R.W., thank you. These points deserve more attention than they often get. The road is not solely for cars. Civility extends to pedestrians, cyclists, and those of us on foot or wheels. Respect isn’t optional—it’s the foundation of safety.
Winter Driving: Courtesy in Cold Conditions
Here in the North, winter adds its layer of challenge. Ice, snow, and surprise deer crossings require heightened caution. Drive slower. Test your brakes regularly. Keep warm clothes and a charged phone in the car. Before long drives, check road conditions and let someone know your itinerary.
Preparation is not paranoia—it’s courtesy. It shows respect for yourself, your passengers, and fellow travelers. As always, drive defensively. Assume that conditions can change without notice.
Raising Respectful Road Users
Children should learn traffic etiquette as soon as they begin to walk or ride a bike. Pedestrians should face traffic when walking along the road’s edge, and cyclists should ride on the far right where it is safe to do so. Bike lanes, when available, are invaluable—but in their absence, drivers must be patient. Cyclists are vulnerable. They don’t have airbags.
Many towns, including Saint Andrews, ban biking on sidewalks, but children often feel safer there. If so, parents should teach them to yield to pedestrians. Respect starts early—and the road is an ideal place to model it.
In Summary
Civility isn’t just for dinner parties. It’s also at four-way stops, in bike lanes, and in parking lots. It’s the wave you give after merging. It’s the moment you pause for someone crossing the street. It’s the line that separates chaos from community.
Every trip you take offers a chance to practice consideration. Behind the wheel, just as in life, the smallest gesture can make the most significant impact.
Jay Remer was raised in the United States and emigrated to Canada roughly 30 years ago. Since then, I have been involved in the writers’ community and the hospitality industry. I live in Saint Andrews, NB, and look forward to the day when healthy, civil debates bear more compassionate outcomes. Please feel free to send your questions: jayremer@chco.tv
