Navigating place settings at the dinner table, like many things in life, is a skill that must be learned. If we aren’t familiar with how a table is set, some of us may feel anxious about the possibility of picking up the wrong fork or taking the wrong dinner roll. I remember, as a young man, gazing at a room filled with fully set banquet tables at a event hosted in an elegant New York hotel.
It’s intimidating enough to be in a room full of strangers, but add an over-set table, and one’s stomach starts to turn. I learned proper dining etiquette as a child, like many kids. However, I didn’t grow up at the Ritz and had never attended such a crowded formal event. Intimidation feels like a mild way to describe how I felt in that moment. I quickly figured out how to navigate the array of cutlery and goblets by watching others.
There’s no reason for anyone to endure such an unsettling time, especially at a black-tie dinner dance where everyone enjoys dancing, drinking, and celebrating the guests of honor. Had I known the following few simple guidelines, the evening would have been less stressful and more enjoyable.
A properly set table requires only the components necessary for the meal you are about to enjoy.
Excessive glasses and cutlery serve no purpose and should never be used. Let common sense and flexibility guide you.
The forks, knives, and spoons are placed where you would reach for them – forks to the left, knives and spoons to the right. If a butter plate or side plate is needed, they are positioned above the forks, slightly to the left. Any glassware should be positioned above the knives, somewhat to the right. The napkins can be placed in the center or under the forks, depending on the formality of the meal.
Typically, there is a knife to match each fork, except for cake, chopped salad, or
seafood appetizers. Dessert utensils (a fork and spoon) can be placed above the center, between the bread plate and the glasses. Alternatively, they may be positioned as the innermost utensils since they will be used last.
Begin eating using the outermost pieces of cutlery first.
If soup is the first course, a spoon should be at the ready on the right. If you stick to this system, you will never again need to guess which fork to use or which dinner roll is yours. I invite your questions concerning any dining dilemmas and will answer them in this column.
Bon appétit!
Jay Remer was raised in the United States and emigrated to Canada roughly 30 years ago. Since then, I have been involved in the writers’ community and the hospitality industry. I live in Saint Andrews, NB, and look forward to the day when healthy, civil debates bear more compassionate outcomes. Please feel free to send your questions: jayremer@chco.tv
